introspections

The Last 3 days have been...tough,

I've had to pick my wife up 3am yesterday morning (after falling asleep at 1) from a work function followed by excess clubbing with her workmates - by driving my dangerous car (suspension fluids gone and i cant afford to fix the bastard up again as i have already spent more on the car than i originally purchased it for) across the city from the outskirts (where we live) while her friend calls me (on my cellphone as i dont have credit and neither does my wife (even if she did she's incoherent) and i have never spoke to this friend before) every 5 minutes wondering where i am like its a 5 minute trip, not to mention talking on cellphones illegal, driving at 3 am on a restricted license is illegal my car is probably illegal and when i pick up my wife, (even though shes a spouse so its covered but since after 10pm probably illegal too) i spent a lot of bad juju worrying about cops.

Cut to yesterday afternoon after leaving for home after a long, tiring, increasingly annoying day at work, i drive home. The juju catches up to me, to my left is a cop, the light goes orange, i carry on through at 50 k, his lights flash, my heart sinks and i pull over ready to throw in the towel. I tell the officer i'm sorry i wasn't sure if that counted as running the light or not and he says he never pulled me over for the light offence so i started feeling confident again it was a random breath test (plus i was worried as my car was unregistered) he instead says, i was more interested in your car. What follows in the next half hour is questions about my suspension whether its genuine or custom (eg boyracer) and since my cars so old when he radios the make and model through they have to google it (which means google must be reliable if even the cops use it) makes me jack it up so he can look under, plus takes photos of it for his colleagues - after much honest discussion i get away without the 600 dollar fine for the engine being less then 100mm off the ground, but it still gets pink stickered and im sent on my way at 50k never to set foot on the road unless going to mechanic via prebooked appointment. I was just happy to get away without the fine, and the passersby hooting horns and waving at one of their fellow citizens being put in their place by the long arm of the law lol (credit to the cop - he was very professional and honest, in my experience apart from not turning up the night of my robbery they havent given me too much grief)

Now i have to bus everywhere like old times, my wife says she doesnt mind but even i can see her frustation bubbling away...she reckons if i dont get a good job within 2 months of me finishing SAE next year she'll leave me....i tell her if she says that she may as well leave me now cos when i married her i was broke and i told her then that id marry broke so i know that i mean more than money to her and her to me so when i get rich i dont have to worry about anyones intentions. but im sure she's just trying to fire me up...

im happy cos she finally got the job we been trying to get her since she got here but she keeps telling me she wishes she had stayed in her country, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and i personally htink NZ has a healthier/safer way of life than phillipines could offer her (having been there many times) haqrd to convince her since in her short stay we've already moved houses lots and been robbed and down to our last dollar one too many times. But karmas a good girl and she'll come around eventually, i mean if all the music, films and acting dont work out i can always start a business or get into real estate sales. I know i can sell, the question is i want to be happy doing it, cos the best jobs are ones that feel like they arent jobs at all. Life is to be lived, not worked with the intention of living later. nobody knows what happen when we die, and when i knock on that door i want to be happy with all that i'm leaving.